Crusoe the Tour Guide - Camping Part 2

Following Part 1, we now continue with Part 2 of my recent camping vacation to Gaspé, Quebec, on the eastern coast of Canada.

It was at this point in our trip that we arrived in the area known as Percé, where there is the famous Percé Rock (meaning pierced rock). And at the time of this photo, there was an even more famous celebrity posing in front of it! ; )

Perce Rock Quebec

If my ears were any bigger, I’m sure I would have achieved liftoff.

In fact, I started to get a bit worried, so I had to ask Mum to come keep me ‘grounded’ for the photo.

Mum Holding Crusoe

Can you tell where I get my good looks from?! (Hint: it isn’t Dad).

So for those of you who haven’t seen it before, here’s an even closer look…

(at the rock).

Rocher Perce, Gaspe, Quebec

At one point in time, there was in fact a second hole where the gap is now between the main rock and the small rock, but this collapsed in 1845. In fact, according to the accounts of Jacques Cartier when he first came to the new world, it was said there were 4 arches!

Anyway, I was fascinated by this natural monument and decided to hop on a tour boat for a closer look.

Except I pulled a few strings so the company would allow me to be the captain and tour guide for this trip! (I guess they were impressed by my Fleet Admiral rank).

Captain Dachshund Outfit

So as people boarded the ship and took their spots, the attention was all on me – as expected.

And after giving one final “all aboard”, I then had to go up to the ship’s cabin to drive the boat off from the pier.

I was wide-eyed with excitement and ready to go!

Captain Crusoe

But as I quickly realized – and like so many of my frustrations in life – the damn seat was too far from the helm for me to reach. I don’t know who the heck makes these ships, but once I find out they’re going to hear from me.

So reluctantly, I had to ask order the ship’s previous captain to turn the wheel at my every command.

Dog Driving Boat

“Port-side, 30 degrees”, I would say, and then would watch him turn the helm and scold him when he was a couple degrees off.

And so off we went…

Dog Captain of the Ship

…And so my version of the tour began!

Crusoe the Tour Guide

“If you look to your left, you’ll see the famous Percé Rock with the characteristic arch. Notice the rough and strongly contoured texture of this limestone and shale rock, which is the result of millions of years of erosion – and which also resembles the chiseled, rock-hard muscles of my thighs and shoulders, if anyone cares to look back this way.”

Captain Dachshund


“You’ll be interested to know this rock and surrounding area is rich with fossils, containing over 150 species…”

Perce Rock Quebec

“…And you’ll also be interested to know that my favorite color of squeaky ball is red, however when it comes to bitches’ bikinis, I generally prefer pink – although if there’s polka-dots of a different color, I won’t complain.”

That’s when some lady started yapping about something irrelevant..

Excuse me, please refrain from blabbing while I’m spieling”.

Big Ship Captain

Albeit a little flustered, I continued…

“There are a variety of nesting seabirds that live here and on the neighboring Bonaventure Island, which you can now see to the right. This includes puffins, razorbills, kittiwakes, and especially the northern gannet”.

Seabird Nesting Bonaventure Island Quebec

Unfortunately, I don’t really like birds. In fact, the only one I care for is chicken.

I think we can all relate when I say birds are boring to chase since they always cheat by flying away. Now just imagine if this 110,000-strong colony of northern gannet was in fact a migratory breeding sanctuary of squirrels!

Northern Gannett Sanctuary Bonaventure Island, Quebec

“Now that would be a lot more interesting.

Anyway, thank you everyone for joining me today on this tour. Tips are appreciated and non-optional. Any comments or constructive criticism should be directed to my friend Laffie here.”

Tour Cruise Crusoe

(Little do they know she’s practically deaf).

I was however, a bit disappointed with the tips. Heck, there wasn’t even one red squeaky ball in there! Can people not take a hint?!

Back to Reality

After my little performance as tour guide, it was back to reality as a celebrity, which meant enjoying the comfiest chair out front the RV with my ferret.

Cute Dachshund Crusoe

After all, I had a lot of resting up to do before our big day of hiking the next day.

In fact, in preparation for the big hike expedition, I surveyed the immediate area around our camp site for the perfectly cut tree on which I could work on mastering my inner balance.

Dachshund Pose

Inner balance – mastered, outer flexation – impeccable.

I was ready!

So coming up in Part 3, you’ll soon see if my inner balance has truly been mastered when you find out if I catch this stick…

Dachshund Jumping for StickAC

In the meantime, I have pack on the carbs and rest up for the big day.

Cute Wiener Dog

See you soon.

Keep tourin’,

~ Crusoe

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Keep ballin’,