As you know, Mum has been away for two weeks in St. Lucia, leaving Dad and I to fend for ourselves at home. We’ve done a pretty good job though, and alongside just keeping the house from falling apart, we’ve even had time to organize a party – or perhaps that was at the expense of keeping the house from falling apart..
If you read my last post about my time with Dad, you’ll have seen me putting up flyers for my ‘sexy ladies wiener party’ at the dog park. You may have thought this was a joke, but Dad and I take our party business very seriously.
However, I realized that I forgot to include a date and time on my flyer (or rather Dad did), so I was worried no one would show up. I never should have doubted my ‘celebrity’ though, because the ladies flocked here. Heck, my fan Bonnie Lee was ready to drive across the border from NY just to attend, and I’m sure many others would have traveled just as far or further.
Before any ladies arrived though, I had to get all cleaned, shined, and freshened up. I am a gentleman of the highest regard, and never entertain company without a warm bath beforehand.
People often pre-drink before a big party. Well, playing a little bathtub ball is my version of predrinking – it gets me all wound up and energized!
The underwater paw-raise signifies I am at my full alertness.
Then the ladies arrived. The turnout was bigger than I imagined, with a line outside and down the sidewalk of hot-to-trot babes waiting to get in. I had to start charging cover at the door just to regulate the inflow of dogs. We started with the usual introductions and small talk on the couch.
I am surprised myself I even remember their names after such a crazy party, but here we have from left to right: Glory, Zoey, myself, Daisy, Gogo, Heidi and Lily. They are all from my local dachshund club.
A personal note: I am first and foremost an internet celebrity, and so in fact do not meet many of my fans in person.
So in truth, I was a bit nervous for this party and kept looking to Dad for reassurance that I was doing a good job – to which he would respond with a wink and a thumbs up.
But what I realized was that the girls were even more nervous to meet me than I was to meet them. The chick to my left (Daisy) couldn’t take her ‘eyes of disbelief’ off me.
I even gave a kiss to the hand of the human named Michele who accompanied Glory, to which she responded that she would never wash her hand again.
That went straight to my head as usual.
So with my confidence now in full pulsation, I finally made the daring move of inviting all the girls up to the bedroom. As mentioned in my previous post, it was only a matter of time before things got weird..
I watched with quiet content from the corner of the bed as the girls frolicked in their moments of playful pillow fights and hide-and-go-seek. It was then that I hid under the covers, only to be followed by the others, including the 10-year-old Gogo here who seemed to have a particular attachment to me.
I am probably making the millions of my other lady fans steamingly jealous at this, so perhaps it’s better I cut the story off here. I wish they all could have been here though.
So to wrap it up, let’s just say my party ended with a ‘bang’.
Mum comes home
This party never would have happened with Mum around, I’m sure. She wouldn’t want to see her baby boy being seduced and seducing women, and engaging in promiscuous acts of debauchery. So thankfully she wasn’t here, but Dad and I had a heck of a time cleaning up – including trying to hide all the different colored dog hairs which Mum would surely notice.
Anyway, the next day after the party, Dad and I went to pick her up. I was of course very excited to see her. I love the ladies, but nothing comes close to my Mum.
She told me she brought me back some treats, which is why I was so excited to receive her bags.
And with all the commotion of preparing for, having, and cleaning up after the party, I haven’t even had a chance to think about Mother’s Day yet.
I need my thinking glasses tout de suite.