A Day in the Life of a Celebrity Dachshund

People often ask me what it’s like to be a celebrity – especially one who thinks they’re more of a celebrity than they really are. My fan Sophie even commented on one of my pictures saying, “I want to be reincarnated as you, Crusoe.” Well, of course she does.

I have a pretty interesting life to say the least. When I’m not off hitting the beach in the Bahamas, lobster fishing in Maine, or swimming with manatees in Florida, I fall back into my regular routine – which although still extraordinary, may not seem all that different than your dog’s.

So here’s what an average day is like for Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund, in chronological order.

1:23 am – under the covers


I guess this picture says enough about my love of all kinds of balls, as it’s not uncommon for me to fall asleep with one in my mouth. Sometimes I might even squeak it in my sleep.

8:15 am – wake up

Mum and Dad get up around this time for work. It’s at this time that I can usually be seen ‘snorkeling’ from under the covers.

Cover Snorkeling

I will usually sleep for another hour or two once they get up. I’ve told them before to make as little noise as possible so as not to disturb me, but I find I have to repeat myself quite often.

I feel like I’m living with children sometimes..

Anywhere between 9 to 11:00 am – I get up

After I’m satisfied that I’ve gotten enough beauty sleep, I get up. That’s when I head to the bathroom for my morning routine..

As you can see, I’ve got Mum pretty well-trained to hold my magazine while I do my business. So I can appreciate that, but you’d be surprised (or perhaps not) as to how many people would be willing to do that for me..

12:00 pm – lunch & a walk

After a quick healthy lunch, Mum takes me on my usual walk…

(Hope you caught that, because I was testing you). See below.

Dachshund Meme - He Doesn't Get Taken on Walks, He Leads Expeditions

I never walk – I only explore.

Here’s a 6-second glimpse into my daily expedition:

And if you thought that was exciting, you ain’t seen nothin’.

2:00 pm – sunbathing & babe watching

On nice days I like to go hang out on the balcony to get some sun, enjoy the breeze, and check out all the babes going by on their walks.

checkin' out the babes

Mum says she can often hear me whistling at the ladies from her office.

And in rare but fun occasions, a squirrel dares to trespass on my balcony, wherein I let loose a whole heck of havoc that I pretty much knock Mum off her chair – and the squirrel off the balcony.

(Double whammy)

3:30 pm – thinking time

This is the time of day where I really have some quiet time to myself. I take to my Master Chair to do some thinking, whether it’s for an upcoming blog post, my next killer pickup line, or the mysteries of the universe (but I’ve just about figured them all out now).

As you can see, I only share my chair with a ducky or a squeaky toy.

Crusoe Dachshund

Once I’ve made some good progress in my chair, it’s time to release the tension.

Or in other words, take that ducky and the shake it, baby!.

5:30 pm – Dad comes home

This is one of the most exciting times of the day. Dad comes home and immediately it’s play time. He really knows how to get me going. In fact, I get so impatient that I repeatedly stomp the ground in anticipation!

6:30 pm – dinner and another walk expedition

I’m all about maintaining my health and physique, which comes with as many expeditions as possible.

So here’s another poster shot of me flexing.

Cool Explorer Dog

7:30 pm – evening massage

After a full of day of everything I just described, I like to unwind with a nice massage. And on a weekly basis, I get a full yogurt facial spa treatment, which is both tasty and great for the pores.

8:00 pm – neighborhood cruise

If I’m lucky, Dad might take me for a little cruise around the neighborhood as BATDOG. Usually I have my brother Oakley with me as Robin, but he’s now gone back home.


We say we do it to protect the neighborhood from crime and conspiracy, but Dad and I can’t help it if we slow down for the hotties..

And into the night…

The rest of the day usually entails some quality couch time where Mum and Dad attempt to watch TV while I continue with my array of attention-getting tactics, which generally includes incessant squeaking.

What a great way to wrap up a day.

So, how’s your day similar, or different?

Keep ballin’,

~ Crusoe

Keep ballin’,