This post is about my recent double date night. Yet I must admit, it all started from a simple misunderstanding. You see, I very reasonably thought that a double date meant you go out on a date with two chicks – hence the “double”.
It wasn’t until this text conversation with Mum that I clued in.
Dad later explained I was playing a dangerous game, and that women can easily become jealous, irrational, and ultimately, a threat to my safety. That made me worry a bit. I can’t risk any damage to my beautiful face.
I could cancel one of the girls, or both, or see the whole thing through. However, I’m not one to let up on a challenge, especially when it includes sexy ladies, so I said heck – bring it on.
I planned an incredibly romantic evening, including delicious home-made spaghetti pasta, dessert, a screening interview (not so romantic, but required), and some get-to-know-each-other time.
Just look how nicely I set the table.
Heck, it’s even better than what Dad does on his and Mum’s anniversaries. Plus I’m flexing, so Dad is no competition – I think we can all see that.
So I sat by the door, waiting for them to arrive. I was ready to charm their socks off with my red velvet tie and matching flower.
I was confident, but not so much a fool as to not be prepared though.
I had my escape exist planned and practiced.
This folks, is why it’s always good to go to firefighter school – you never know when you might need to make a quick window exit to escape the clutches of a couple crazy chicks.
But things weren’t so bad. As usual, I had underestimated my charm and ability to knock girls’ off their feet. You may already know Gogo the red head and Zoey the piebald (the girls from my left and right at the wiener dog pool party).
You see, I explained to them that I had originally invited 10 chicks over for a date. But upon further reasoning, I figuring this might be a bit inconsiderate. So I narrowed it down to the two loveliest ladies.
“…and that’s you two”.
Of course they swooned over that.
Which then created the perfect timing to transition into my screening interview. I wanted to learn more about each of them and how they might compare in terms of a long-term potential mate.
I had just a few questions to run through:
Crusoe: “So, ladies, if we were washed away on a desert island together, what would be the first thing you would do?”
Gogo: “I’d look for a nice warm patch of sand to snuggle up next to you on!”
I can dig that! (Literally, I would probably dig it).
Zoey: “I’d go find us both some dinner!”
Great! I like a girl who gets down to business – first thing’s first – survive!
Crusoe: “do you prefer chunky or smooth?”
Zoey: “definitely chunky.”
Gogo: “I prefer a smooth and muscular physique, like you Crusoe!”
Zoey: “I thought we were talking about peanut butter?”
It was an open question, so was interesting to see what their thought-process was like.
Crusoe: “if you could take me anywhere, where would it be?”
Gogo: “I would take you back to that desert island so we could be alone together, forever and ever”.
I like Gogo but, that seems a bit… irrational?
Crusoe: “Zoey, what about you?”
Zoey: “I would take you to the kitchen so you could cook us dinner already”.
Whoa again! I’ve got a feisty one here – not to mention hungry it looks like.
Crusoe: “We’ll get to that soon, Zoey. Just a couple more questions. We’ll start with you this time. What is your favorite thing? Besides food!”
She had to think hard about that one.
So long in fact that Gogo even started to fall asleep!
When you got one chick confused and one falling asleep, you know it’s time to move on!
So I invited the ladies over to the kitchen to watch me prepare dinner. I was making them some fresh home-made spaghetti pasta!
They were of course, quite impressed as one might expect.
But once I received a satisfactory amount of admiration and regard, I quietly gestured to Dad (as planned) to lead the ladies back to the living room while I prepared the rest of the meal.
Once they were out of sight, I pulled out a box of spaghetti and put a handful of noodles in the pot.
This isn’t a Cooking with Crusoe post, and I just ain’t got the time to make pasta.
Just don’t tell them, please. I have a good thing going right now.
Once dinner was ready, we all came to the table.
I had barely pressed play on the romantic music when Zoey couldn’t resist herself from trying my cooking…
OK – she has a healthy appetite and isn’t shy to dig in! I’m cool with that!
While enjoying a bit of our meal, we made various small talk at the table.
Gogo told me all about her upcoming plans to go to Florida for her first time, and asked about my experiences there. I was happy to oblige her with tales from my intrepid expeditions in Florida’s untamed wilderness.
She was quite fascinated, which only strummed my ego more.
At that moment while we were both taking a bite out of the spaghetti, might I say something magical happened? We both lifted our heads and discovered we had taken hold of the same piece of spaghetti!
I would draw reference to the Lady & The Tramp here, but of course, I’m quite opposite a tramp.
After which, Zoey decided to tell me all about her new pink jacket and how cute she thought it was, but that she just didn’t like the way it fit on her. She told me she tried it on in front of the mirror multiple times – before and after eating dinner just to see if that made a difference -but nope, it just had a strange fit to it that she didn’t like. And thus, she refused to walk around in her jacket even when her mom put it on her.
At this point I’m doing my best to be polite and look interested like Dad taught me, but man-o-man was that a snooze-fest.
That gave me a good enough reason to go bring out dessert – which was raspberries and blueberries covered in whipped cream!
I figured I would help myself to the first bite this time, since Zoey didn’t hesitate to do so in the entree round.
Once I had my taste though, I let the two ladies share the rest together. This was also a test, as I wanted to see how well they would get along while sharing something so delicious.
Neither of them was the least bit shy when it came to dessert, I can tell you that! Good thing I like a girl who isn’t afraid to eat!
I was quite impressed with how well they did together – that is, until a surprising change of events from the laid back Gogo. I guess she really liked my dessert, because after a while she decided to tell Zoey to “shoe off” in a not-so-nice way.
That earned her the cup to herself. Nice to see she can be a bit feisty, too! ; )
So anyway, that wrapped up our meal. We spent the rest of the evening at the table, just enjoying each other’s conversation and drinking wine.
Mum was actually the one who had to call it a night when she noticed that Gogo had made herself comfortable on top of the table with her tongue poking out.
Meanwhile Zoey – now full to her stomach’s content, could devote her attention to finally appreciating my flower! She loved it.
And before their cab pulled up outside, Zoey even whispered to me; “my favorite thing after food is squeaky balls. I love squeaky balls”.
I don’t know about you, but I really don’t think I can choose between these two women. But then again, who says I need to?