I recently went to visit my local book store, Chapters, with Mum and Dad. She likes going there to enjoy a Starbucks coffee as she browses the teen romance section (she’s a little sensitive about me telling people that, but too late).
However, she has read 50 Shades of Grey, so I guess that doesn’t count as ‘teen’ romance.
Actually that gives me an idea. I think the fans would like a book on the 50 Shades of Crusoe. I definitely have enough material to work with .. ; )
Anyway, back to the subject. Most people don’t seem to know that you can bring your dog inside Chapters – so now you know. I had several people come up to me and ask why I was allowed inside, so that’s evidence enough. Not sure how much Chapters wants to advertise that fact, but either way, I’m doing it for them now!
As my first trip to a book store, I was overwhelmed with the wealth of literature around me. I asked the first employee I saw where the ‘sexy lady and wieners’ section is, which she rudely responded by saying “this isn’t the store for that”.
Don’t know what the heck that was about, but anyway, I decided I’d find it myself.
My first stop was the closest section I could find to ‘Celebrity Wiener Dogs’, which was Adventure and Literary Travel. I imagine that if I ever have a book, it will need to be here.
Since I don’t have my book yet, the only way I could picture how my book would look in this section was by hopping up and displaying myself right there. I think it looks pretty good here, but then again it’s hard to judge because I always look good.
(Did you find my website watermark in the above?)
But then I saw all the other sections, and started to question myself. My book will definitely have some romance in there, too. So it should be in the below section as well. Most people look at me as their womanizing hero (which I am), but I can also be very romantic.
In fact, I may just be going on my first-ever in-person date pretty soon, so stay tuned for that.
Then I came to the Sexuality section where I found this revolutionary new book called the Kama Sutra, and oh boy, that’s not for children – even though all the illustrations are cartoons.
That gave me another idea by the way, which is why don’t dogs have their own version of this book? If anyone were to write one it’d definitely be me.
And the first position in the book: ‘human style’. I haven’t decided what exactly that means yet though..
Yet, after looking through just about all the sections in the store, I couldn’t find just one which would really capture the essence of “Crusoe the Celebrity Dachshund”. So when I get my book I’ll just have to request it be placed on every shelf..
As I stood up on a little stool looking ever-so studious and distinguished with my thinking glasses on, I couldn’t help but notice this other guy in tight jeans and a wavy blue scarf start talking to Dad as he snapped pictures of me. I then realized that because Mum was browsing another section, this guy must have been gay and was starting to chat up Dad. I couldn’t help but find that situation a little funny. Not sure he’ll like me telling this story either…
But hey, that’s what you get for taking pictures of your wiener in public.
After Mum came to rescue Dad from his little predicament, we headed over to the Adventure Fiction section. This is where Dad showed me a very special book.
He sat me at a quiet reading table and placed a book in front of me called Robinson Crusoe. He explained this was who I was named after.
I spent the next hour or so reading through it, and I can so see why I was named after this guy. We both shared a deep sense of adventure and a natural ability to instill fascination in the public eye. Plus we both like Fridays (you’ll have to know a bit about Robinson Crusoe to get that one).
I thought that was quite a magical moment of self-awakening for me – to truly understand the story behind the name ‘Crusoe’. I’m sure Mr. Robinson would have liked me if I was on that island with him.
So all in all, I really liked Chapters (except that first employee I spoke to) and will probably return. Actually, I bet I will see a lot more dogs there next time now that I’ve got the word out.
Not sure if Dad will come next time though. But hey, I told him to consider it a compliment.
If there were ever a Crusoe book, what section do you think it would belong in?