Betrayed by My Own Dad...

I thought I would tell this story from the past summer, because I feel my fans deserve to know about it. Just writing about this stirs me up again.

It was a sunny day at my summer home in St. Donat, Quebec. I was just doing my usual lazing about and chewin’ on socks, keeping a casual watch for any intruders to my territory. My friend and mother-figure, Laffie, was around somewhere. As you know, she’s a medium-sized dog and an exceptional hunter, so good backup if I need it (but I rarely need backup).

Anyway, I guess my mum and dad were outside doing “people things”, when I heard them start to get excited down by the lake. Thinking they found something really cool, I zipped down over to where they were. I was not as thrilled as they were by what I saw.

There was a mother duck and her entourage of ducklings swimming just out from the shore. So at first I said, “ya, it’s kind of cute, I guess”. But the ducks kept coming closer. So now I’m saying, ‘okay, that’s close enough, don’t push it”. The stupid ducks just stayed there. I guess they don’t understand english or something.

I did what any good dachshund would do. I waded out into the water and took off after them. I didn’t bark, because they were not a threat. But they did break formation at my charge. They dispersed a little and evaded the shore to what I would say was a satisfactory distance. But don’t worry, I wouldn’t hurt the things (but truth is I couldn’t catch them for the life of me in the water).

I came back to shore and noticed my dad coming back from the house with something in his hand. Curious, I watched as he came to the shoreline. This is where it happened. You’ll never guess what my dad did next. He started throwing treats to the ducks!! Can you believe that, he was feeding the intruders, encouraging them to intrude even more!

I was very mad, so I rushed back into the water to get the ducks to buzz off.

This time it didn’t work though, they kept swimming around me and grabbing the treats my dad was throwing. I realized chasing them wasn’t going to work. So, I turned around in place, just in front of the ducks but now facing my dad. Time for plan B. I started to catch the treats (which turned out to be just plain ol’ bread) and eat them before they reached the ducks. Ha! That showed my dad, and the ducks! Once again, strategic thinking.

I ate most of the bread that came towards the ducks, but a few pieces slipped by, and I was also getting tired of swimming in place. All in all, I did a pretty good job of intervening. My dad ran out of bread and the ducks left. Mission accomplished – my territory was safe and critter-free once again.

The lesson here is that being a smart hunting/defensive dachshund is about more than just your physical ability. You have to outsmart the enemy, not just outrun them.

I was disappointed with my dad for helping the ducks like that. After the incident, I explained to him how feeding the ducks bread can fatten them up to the point that they can’t fly south for the winter. He of course had the smart remark that I was the one who ate most of it…

Anyway,

Keep duck-huntin’,

~ Crusoe