BATDOG Sidekicks' Performance Reviews

It has now been exactly one week since I returned from my vacation in Bahamas.

People had expressed their skepticism as to me going away on vacation and leaving my country – er, the world, unprotected. I understand where they are coming from because who else than BATDOG to be there to save all the little doggies from cats, dubious wired hair dachshunds and everything else that goes bump in the night?


As if being a celebrity isn’t already enough, I have to keep dogworld peace, too. I am too busy to do that all by myself, so that is precisely why I found myself the two amazing sidekicks through my recent SuperDog Photo Contest, Mighty Milla & Teckleman.

So while I was away kickin’ back and checking out chicks on the beach in Bahamas, I left my sidekicks in charge. Upon my return home, they both promptly provided me with a status report covering the past week.

I was quite impressed with how they managed things, but I also figured this would be a good time to conduct their first Performance Review considering that they have now had the chance to practice their own responsibility for looking after the world.

So you know what that means – time for my ‘Thinking Glasses’.

Funny Dachshund Photo

Being the gentleman I am, I will start with the lady of the two.

Mighty Milla

Milla’s status report was very good. She explained how her and Teck (that’s how she calls Teckleman) secured the perimeter.

My first piece of feedback would be to identify which perimeter..

I was dually impressed when Milla went on to detail how she had two of her female Bahama contacts shadow my every move while on vacation to assure my safety and security. She also arranged to have each of my planes thoroughly inspected before I boarded. I’m happy to see she takes such great initiative.

Although I left the management completely up to them, it was also a test to see just how above and beyond they would go. I would say Mighty Milla definitely did that.

My next piece of feedback for her is that she should have hooked me up with at least a couple of her Bahamas contacts. I was on babe-watch the whole time and only barely glimpsed one chick.

In the latter half of the week, Milla celebrated her third birthday.

The icing on the cake to her report was that she stayed in uniform even during this event. Now that’s dedication.

Cute dachshund birthday cake costume

All in all, Mighty Milla is continually proving to be a superb sidekick to BATDOG. I am happy to have her as part of the team. She even commented how much she enjoys working with Teck and that he is also doing a great job. So I see she also has good teamwork.


As I mentioned, Mighty Milla calls him Teck for short, which I find quite suitable considering he is a wiz on the computer. I was even informed that he helped block a hacker attack to my blog, so I am pleased to hear that.

So firstly, points go to Teck for showing sympathy to me in not finding a babe. He also speculated that the one girl I did see may have had reservations about getting too involved with a famous celebrity. I never considered this before..

Teckleman informed me of several pieces of disturbing news. The first was that his local squirrel population has been going nuts. As he already has one squirrel murder to his name, I have granted him a license to kill (more) squirrels.

He also mentioned that he had a Thanksgiving breach by a pheasant who kept showing up at his place pretending to be lost. As Teck inferred, this was probably a squirrel-related scheme to scope out his location and weak points. No action has been taken on Teck’s behalf, but he said he is preparing to make his move, watching and waiting for the right time.

Wired Hair Dachshund Costume

My feedback for him would be to aim his efforts at the head hocho squirrel in the area. If we can take that squirrel alive, we can figure out what they are up to.

To further complicate things, wild turkeys have steadily been moving into the area. He chases them off whenever he can, but they are running havoc with the smooth operations of road traffic.

So, I can see he has definitely had his paws full. I applaud him for his perseverance in taking on all these threats by himself. Luckily, BATDOG is back to help.

Cute Wired Hair Dachshund Costume

I can say that both Mighty Milla and Teckleman are helping to shape a very promising SuperDog team. I am pleased to say they both ranked very high on their first Performance Reviews. Keep up the good work!

And I hope all my other local superhero dogs out there are doing what they can to help keep themselves and owners safe from threats and nutty squirrels (or other varmints).


You can rest assured though, BATDOG is back and patrolling the skyline near you.

Keep safe,

~ Crusoe

Keep ballin’,